Albia, former centre of the Universe and epicentre of the now broken up Albian Grand Empire is in a dire situation. A very dire sit-tea-ation. One of its former colonies, a great provider of tea, has decided to close its trading routes, thus depriving the idle and not-so idle ruling classes of their favourite brew! Inconceivable…
It is thus up to our hero, Tobias Jamar-Thicklewit, the maligned illegitimate son of Albia’s great Chieftain, Augustus Thicklewhit, and third in line to become the next great leader of the planet to rectify this Traves-tea!
His objective is to converse with the tea withholding, dirty rotten rebel peasant populations, disperse the animosity, get them to re-open the trading lanes and get back to to Albia in time for, well, tea.
Tobias being Tobias, however, and thus near useless, he is not embarking on this Grand Mission alone. To help him, he has assembled a crew with varying ages, skills, and ethics.
Chief Officer Clarence Regard – First Mate: Mentor and ally throughout the game. Loathes Tobias.
Officer Roy Cooper – Pilot: Attractive, precise and efficient young male. Very textbook and professional. You can rely on him to get the job done.
Officer Edmund Bennett – Head of Engineering: A man’s man. His allegiance is always with the highest bidder. Bit of a scientific inventor – will happily use his knowledge to take calculated risks.
Officer Philis Ardon – Head of Gunnery: Attractive 50 year old woman, Strong, jolly and fair, she has good command of her station. She wears horn-rimmed glasses and turns everything about targets and missiles into innuendos.
Officer Francis Warrington – Head of Navigation: Older. Believes he is psychic, he isn’t. Often gets Lucky.
Officer Agatha Green – Head of HR: A hated team player, a jobsworth who preaches political correctness in the workplace but is the most offensive person on board.